"Struggle with Aging and Loss of Independence"

My mom had lived in the same home in Saskatchewan for over 60 years which was her pride and joy as well as sanctuary. She thrived among friends and family but numerous life changes including  the sudden death of her spouse of over 50 years, her sister (her closest support) moving to another province and the passing away of many close friends left her vulnerable and struggling emotionally and physically. It was a challenge for me and my wife to help sustain her in her home as we live in Alberta and my brother who lived in another province preferred to stay on the periphery. She eventually agreed to visiting a lawyer to have a POA (power of attorney), Living Will and PD (personal directive) created but my mom fought against any change to her living situation and declining mobility issues for several more years. She was in complete denial regarding the of her aging. Cognitive decline was apparent and a series of unreported and reported falls, refusal to accept in home help, several successive trips to emergency as well as neglected/hidden toe nail issues, eventually resulted in my mom reluctantly agreeing to in home private care and housekeeping on a limited basis. The effort proved fruitless as she would only allow the home care to visit with her and not assist in any personal matters. Eventually to entire situation became patently unsustainable and with the urging of her family and friends agreed to accept my offer to locate her to Red Deer or Sylvan Lake (if possible) where my wife and I could better care for her with added bonus of being much closer to her grandchildren, who were extremely important to her emotional well being. Following a very stressful highly compressed schedule of relocation my mom moved into the Aspen Ridge Senior’s Residence in Red Deer in later 2024 where she received supportive living care. This was her first time in her adult life that she would be relying on care givers to provide daily support.

The next few months proved challenging for my mom and those working to assist her in adapting to her new environment, especially due to the emotional upheaval of my brother passing away. Previous to him passing, my mom had not seen him in person for over a year other than through FaceTime contact and that weighed on her heavily. Christmas 2024 brought about a lightening of her spirit with the ongoing daily emotional and physical support my mom was receiving from family and Aspen Ridge staff. In addition she began to attend interfaith church services offered at Aspen Ridge, and being a life long member of the United Church of Canada this proved integral to her healing from my brother’s death and adjusting to her new circumstances.

Unfortunately, in the winter 2025 she fell and broke her hip, one week before a planned birthday celebration. Over the next several months she endured surgery, being transitioned between hospital units and hospitals (Red Deer and Hanna) as well as Taylor View Towers (TVT) in Red Deer all of which proved very difficult for her physically and even more so for her emotionally. Those stays were punctuated with UTI’s and C. difficile infections that simply added to her cognitive decline and sense of isolation. My wife and I were also starting to suffer burnout due to all daily visits while she was in Red Deer and the draining weekend travel/visits while she was in Hanna for several weeks. Not having a definite place she could call home along during this transition period together with the disruptive, albeit considerable acute care of a hospital environment during those long months,  played havoc with her mental and physical health. Episodes of delirium became more prevalent and she lost much of her ability to walk and sometimes even stand on her own resulting in numerous falls while in transition at Taylor View Towers. Staffing levels for that type of care were very limited and the various therapies available to full time continuing care residents were not made available to her during the months she resided there due to her transition status. Recreational programs were open for her to attend but only if my wife transferred her to and from them. She did receive a few weeks of one hour per day one to one care which we appreciated but that was a bandaid and not a solution. At around the a few week mark at TVT, she started showing signs once again of adjusting to her new surroundings so when we were offered a permanent placement at Villa Marie Red Deer, my mom was fairly adamant that she didn't want to be moved again and wished to wait for a CC (continuing care) room at TVT (which was on her preferred list of Continuing Care facilities).

Another C. difficile infection brought about another round of confusion and negative emotions for my mom which me and my wife I just could not see as sustainable for much longer. When offer for a permanent placement at Bethany Collegeside Red Deer came up for the summer of 2025, we were relived.  As the father and father-in-law of a close friend of ours both resided at the Bethany for a combined period of almost a decade. Our friend’s feedback was critical to us making the decision to move my mom to this facility. From the moment of our first intake meeting with Veronica (Social Worker) to our first family meeting with the team leads and department heads, we have felt welcomed and valued. My mom’s time at Bethany Collegeside thus far has still been a period of adjustments but the experienced, professional and compassionate daily care Bethany Collegeside provides the support we need and the confidence that our concerns are being addressed.